The Life & Times of Zach Alvarez

what-a-lonely-lonely-love:

decodethishit:

lickypickystickyme:

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”

The agent replied, “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first; and then I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?”

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. “May I have your attention, please?”, she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. “We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14”.

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, “F*** You!”

Without flinching, she smiled and said, “I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to get in line for that, too.”

snap snap snap

I work in the airline industry and i pull smartass shit like this whenever i can to people who do that stuff.

(Source: synchronisings)

awesomephilia:

ew-romance:

theother-worldlyninja:

moraniarty:

pwnator:

kiriloid:

tdrloid:

pelicaneggs:

jiinkiie2:

garrys-wife:

Wow, that case must be JAM-packed.

It’d butter be

looks like shes bready to go

my flight had better be rye-t on time

i’d hate for her to be forced to wheat

I bet that costs a lot of dough.

that case is toastally awesome

That case must be handy when you’re crumbing and going.

i really knead that bag

I bought one of these yeasterday.

I bet all her clothes are sandwiched together in that suitcase.

(Source: )

I stand behind my President.